February 6, 2006

• If I Only Knew…

  

  
  

  Sometimes growth can appear out of focus when you attempt to capture it, analyze it, and even rationalize it. 

  About two years ago, I moved here to Brighton, after accepting a job
  interview, with an intention to pursue pre-requisite courses. 
  Have things changed?  Oh yes, they have.  Yet, while those
  things may have changed…have I? 

  And with that million dollar question, its answer is, drum roll please,
  “Yes.”  Countless countdowns to days that have come and
  gone.  Fleeting “threats” to do certain things at the spur of a
  moment.  Promises make up certain parts of people.  Words and
  actions; they most definitely do.

  I’ve learned more than I could have ever imagined while working with
  schizophrenics and borderlines.  Each day is both a challenge and
  a lecture/lab unto itself.  I already gave them my 03 month
  notice.  Classes will lead to more classes; that’s all I know
  about that one.

  My first real apartment has been a wonderful interesting frustrating
  experience.  You learn about how important it is to have your own
  door to close and how vital it is to create/maintain an environment you
  can grow in.

  Friends and more.  Sometimes what is most important is out of
  focus; the background clear but the present so fuzzy.  Montreal
  breakfasts and trips to NYC/NJ.  Emails to TMs.  These things
  de-fuzz the frustrations which wrap us in the present of today. 

  I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I have changed and change these days, feels sooo right. 

  Now Brooklyn or MD?
  

  • 12:21 am
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